Summer Movie Preview

As much as I would love to open this preview with a sappy anecdote about Nicholas Sparks’ latest, The Lucky One, its release date doesn’t exactly count as “summer,” and I cannot allow myself anymore indulgences…but self-restraint ever stopped me before.  Here’s what you should go see if you don’t want to look like me when fall comes around.

The Avengers: Thor plus Iron Man plus Black Widow plus Hawkeye plus Captain America plus the Hulk equals one heavy hero sandwich, pun intended.  Don’t forget the yummy Pepper Pots!  When Loki threatens earth’s survival, Nick Fury and the S.H.I.E.L.D. agency form the Avengers in hopes to save the world.  Opens May 4.

Dark Shadows:  Call the caterer.  Barnabus Collins is back for the family reunion, and Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are having another anniversary!  Johnny Depp’s eighth film under Burton’s direction, the two collaborated to create an ode to the Dark Shadows soap opera, which aired on ABC network from 1966-1971 and was controversial for its supernatural content. This film parodies the old show and could serve as mockery of a certain modern vampire tales, in classic Burton humor.  Opens May 11.

Take This Waltz:  Michelle Williams and Seth Rogan portray a couple in love, but maybe not the monogamous kind.   This film has a noteworthy cast (although Williams is prone to do independent films) but was written and directed by Sarah Polley, who holds only seven directional titles to her name, three of which are short films.  The new director’s style, which seems highly stylized by her use of color, is sure to fall under scrutiny. Opens June 7.

Seeking a Friend at the End of the World: It may take an asteroid scheduled to hit earth in three weeks to bring Keira Knightley and Steve Carrell together, but this unlikely friendship will be totally worth it.  Opens June 22.

To Rome with Love: Woody Allen never disappoints.  What’s different about his latest is that he’s actually in it, a first in almost six years, or in Woody Allen language, six movies.  A collection of love scenarios in Italy, the vignette style script will surely complement Allen’s often fragmented, specific bats of dialogue.  Furthermore, watching Ellen Page, Alec Baldwin and Jesse Eisenberg spat back at Allen’s conversational style will be easy to swallow.  Opens June 22.

People Like Us: A myriad of up-and-comers in Hollywood are showcased here.  Chris Pine, Elizabeth Banks and Olivia Wilde are directed by a screenplay writing pro, Alex Kurtzman, whose pencil hit the page for Transformers, Star Trek, Cowboys and Aliens and surprisingly, The Island.  A story about family redemption, this movie should provide a fresh perspective on your own family.  Opens June 29.

The Amazing Spider Man: Can Emma Stone save the Amazing Spider man from his decreasing popularity?  (Remember, he was not invited to join the Avengers.) She just might be able to, but she’s the gimmick here for sure.  Opens July 6.  

The Dark Knight Rises: Liam Neeson, Tom Hardy, and Anne Hathaway are all attempts to fulfill the void of entertainment left by the late Heath Ledger.  While this task is impossible, failing at it is a worthy calling worth watching.  Opens July 20.

And if, just in case, you do look like me when fall comes around, there’s another man-festival awaiting you!  Lawless, which has Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf, Guy Pierce, and for those of you who look just like me, Gary Oldman.  You’ll learn to love him, or I’ll love him for the both of us, on August 31!