It’s Mental Health Month, and I’m Sick of the Stigma
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The opinions reflected in this OpEd are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of staff, faculty and students of The King's College.
“You need to exercise more.”
I’m fat.
“You need to be praying and reading your Bible more.”
I’m being punished by God.
“Think of all the things you have to be thankful for.”
I’m being ungrateful; I don’t have a good enough reason to feel this way.
“You need to smile more.”
I need to hide how I really feel.
“I feel like you’re my responsibility.”
I’m a burden.
“Being around you is like walking on eggshells.”
I’m difficult to be around.
“I don’t know what to do with you.”
I can’t be fixed.
“You are a miserable little girl.”
I am a miserable little girl.
I’ve heard each of these phrases from my own family and friends. And as a college student diagnosed with clinical depression, my interpretation of their words came subconsciously, regardless of their intent.
Statements that are meant to be helpful suggestions can feel like hurtful commands and accusations. How am I supposed to go on a run when getting out of bed every morning is a challenge? Why should I smile when I feel numb?
Some statements that are intended to be gentle feel harsh and dejecting. After three years, my depression has intertwined itself with my identity; it feels like a part of me now. So when people criticize me for being depressed or minimize my condition, it feels like a direct attack at my very person.
Other statements are intended to be blunt in an attempt to make me “snap out of it.” These hurt the most. Constantly replaying in my head, each time I hear them my body tenses at their sting, almost as if I’m hearing them again for the first time.
No matter the intention behind each statement, each has made long-lasting, negative effects on the way I perceive myself. They were catalytic moments in forming my core beliefs. These “core beliefs” are basic beliefs about ourselves, other people, and the world we live in. They determine how we perceive ourselves and the world.
I am one of 47.6 million Americans who experience a mental illness. Common mental illnesses include: depression, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder, and specific phobias.
The reality of my depression weighs heavily on me, and the stigma weighs even heavier—but the stigma is not unbreakable. By providing better education on the issue, people would be more likely to speak about mental health with heightened sensitivity and act with greater intentionality.
As of May 2019, 78 percent of adults between the ages of 18-34 agree that having a mental health disorder is nothing to be ashamed of, according to a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA). In juxtaposition, however, only 51 percent said they would be comfortable dating someone with a mental health disorder, and only 35 percent said they would be comfortable with letting that person care for a child.
Severe mental illnesses can usher in suicidal ideation. Approximately 123 Americans die by suicide every day according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), making it the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S. In the aforementioned APA study, nearly 80 percent agree that less shame and stigma around mental health would lower suicide rates. Thus, the importance of bringing awareness to this issue is all the more urgent.
Services such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) are available 24/7, and many institutions offer free counseling services. There are resources everywhere, but finding treatment that actually provides the sought after long-term benefits is easier said than done.
I spent nearly two years attending counseling sessions that were unhelpful. I tried therapist after therapist until I finally found one who clicked with me. I wish someone had explicitly told me that it’s OK to tell the counselor if it’s just not working out. They will not be offended by you taking control of your treatment in this way.
Even with a wide variety of treatments available, their level of effectiveness depends on the person. With depression, for instance, a physical exam may reveal an underlying medical cause. The most common example is an underactive thyroid gland, a condition associated with depressive symptoms. For others, therapy may be what is needed to retrain their faulty cognition and unhealthy behavior. For others, antidepressants (most commonly SSRIs) can be prescribed to correct a chemical imbalance in their brains. Even still, others need a combination of these treatments.
May is Mental Health Month and raising awareness is the key to destigmatizing mental health disorders.
For me, three years of living under the stigma, feeling ashamed and in need of validation, has been far too long. I’m sick of the stigma, and I know it can be broken.