Did You Know It Was Sexual Assault Awareness Month? Probably Not.

“Peeling Back the Silence” Graphic By Graciella Delgado

The opinions reflected in this OpEd are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of staff, faculty and students of The King's College.

Moving to New York City one of my parents’ first concerns was making sure that I was going to stay safe. I always laughed and said that they didn’t need to worry about me, that “I was a big girl now.” I laughed when my grandpa gave me a taser as one of Christmas gifts and when my grandma gave me two containers of self-defense pepper spray.

I never took my safety seriously until my roommate and I were on the train back from Harlem at three in the morning and a man kept staring at us. I never took my safety seriously until the construction workers by ninety-wash would cat-call me every time I went to my friend’s apartment after volleyball. I never took my safety seriously until I was walking back to my apartment in the early morning after my Uber got lost. 

I haven’t been assaulted, but one out of every six American women are.

In the wake of the #MeToo movement, we have seen arrests, awareness and policies being enacted across the world and yet sexual violence is still prevalent and perhaps always will be. And how many of us knew that April was Sexual Assault Awareness Month?

I’m sure many of you sat through the school’s Title IX meeting thinking of other things that you could be doing with your time; it wasn’t going to happen to you. But according to the facts, everyone is affected by sexual violence in one way or another. 

About one out of every ten rape victims are male and male college students (age 18-24) are five times more likely to be assaulted than non-students. Females of college-age are three times more likely than women in general to experience sexual violence and 54 percent of sexual assault victims are aged 18-34 according to the Department of Justice. 

What can you do when you have been a victim of sexual violence?

First, if you are a victim of sexual violence understand that there are many resources available to help you. Through King’s, you have free access to speak with school counselors as well as access to the specific members of the administration that are dedicated to helping students through Title IX instances. These members are here to help you navigate reporting your case or finding outside resources, and all reported cases are confidential and handled at your own pace and permission

If you do not feel comfortable contacting the school for help there are many other options available to you outside of school. The Crime Victims Treatment Center, for example, is located a mere nine minutes from campus and is available for group or individual therapy sessions. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is also available 24/7 for free and confidential help. 

For those close to someone who has experienced sexual violence

For non-victims of sexual assault, there are a few things to understand. Sexual violence of any kind can enact life-long effects on the victim. A majority of survivors will experience some form of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder; they might turn to substance abuse or self-harm in order to alleviate pain. Many survivors will experience shame or guilt and may not be comfortable sharing their experiences, so if you notice a change in someone’s behavior, offer a listening ear if you are in a position to do so.

If a survivor decides to share their story with you, you are there to act as a confidant, not a revenger. Believe them and be there as support. It is not up to you to validate their experience and you are not going to be able to solve their issues, but they need to know that you are there for them. One of the most important things is to ask before offering physical support; this may help to re-establish the victim’s sense of security. This step of consent is important in all cases as  survivors may feel their sense of control ripped away from them. Physical touch could also be triggering for them. 

In normal conversation, it is never okay to make jokes about sexual assault, especially as they can discourage survivors from speaking up about their abuse. For more specifics, I suggest reading The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network’s article.

With Sexual Assault Awareness Month coming to a close and all of us stuck at home because of COVID-19, now is a great time to educate ourselves on the issue of sexual assault and what we can do to help. I didn’t take my safety seriously until I was in instances where it was severely threatened. Maybe it's time we take a more preemptive approach to our safety and think now about how we can prevent harm in the future.